I wrote the following as my talk for Simon’s mission farewell. I had a few weeks to think about it and then one day the words came quickly. This is what I believe at my core and I wanted to give it a place of permanence here on my website. Here then, is my take on truth and how to find it. Enjoy.

When was the last time you took a really big swing at something? The last time that you reached for something, searched for something, or took a stab at a job, a relationship, a concept? I think that the older we get, the less big swings we want to make because the stakes are suddenly so much higher. One of the biggest and best things to take a stab at in this life is establishing your testimony. One of the most important things to search for in life is truth. Seeking truth and building faith are two vitally important ingredients for developing a testimony. Equally important in this recipe is our resolve to hold on to hard-won truth and testimony once we have found it. 

Over the past 46 years, I have tried doing my life a few different ways. When I was a child, I held onto the spiritual work my parents did and claimed their testimony as my own. I found that I was content to not look for my own answers. As a teenager and in my 20’s and 30’s I sometimes walked with friends down paths that were not my own, thinking that their journey and their opinions and their struggles were my story as well. There have been times when I have distanced myself from God, under the impression that I could do just fine on my own. I have fallen into despair numerous times throughout my life and felt like I did not know where to look for answers and even questioned whether I was worthy enough for answers. All of this to say that my journey in seeking truth and building my faith to develop my testimony has taken many years, big swings, prayers, experiences, conversations, and many quiet, humble moments between just myself and God. We read in Hebrews 11:1 that “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”. To find and hold onto and believe in things not seen takes enormous humility and work; that work will take a whole lifetime. Over the years, I have listened, I have sought answers and I have learned a few things that I would like to share with you today. 

What is Truth?

So what is truth and where are we searching for it? Google only gets us so far. Instagram and TikTok and CNN and Buzzfeed offer a decidedly mixed bag of mostly inaccurate, frequently entertaining truth, if you really want to call it truth. In most news reporting, friendly conversations, and classrooms there is always a personal bias that affects the actual truth. Even our closest associates and loved ones will not always meet the mark in helping us to discern truth. 

Elder Dieter H. Uchtdorf gives us these thoughts on truth:

“The thing about truth is that it exists beyond belief. It is true even if nobody believes it. There is indeed such a thing as absolute truth—unassailable, unchangeable truth. Absolute truth is not dependent upon public opinion or popularity. Polls cannot sway it. Not even the inexhaustible authority of celebrity endorsement can change it. We are encouraged to think and discover truth for ourselves. We are expected to ponder, to search, to evaluate, and thereby to come to a personal knowledge of the truth. There is one source of truth that is complete, correct, and incorruptible. That source is our infinitely wise and all-knowing Heavenly Father. He knows truth as it was, as it is, and as it yet will be. It is His gospel. It is the gospel of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is ‘the way, the truth, and the life’” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Our Search For Truth”, 2013).

Where Can We Find Truth?

When we have questions, we must very carefully consider where we are seeking our answers. We will never go wrong taking our questions directly to God. He will always direct our minds, our hearts, and our actions down the path where our answer lies. Every single time. Once we have received answers to our questions, Elder Ronald A. Rasband counsels us to “Never forget, question, or ignore personal, sacred spiritual experiences. The adversary’s design is to distract us from spiritual witnesses, while the Lord’s desire is to enlighten and engage us in His work” (Ronald A. Rasband, “Lest Thou Forget”, 2016).

President Russell M. Nelson further counsels,

“You don’t have to wonder about what is true. You do not have to wonder whom you can safely trust. Through personal revelation, you can receive your own witness that the Book of Mormon is the word of God, that Joseph Smith was a prophet, and that this is the Lord’s church. Regardless of what others may say or do, no one can ever take away a witness borne to your heart and mind about what is true” (Russell M. Nelson, “Revelation for the Church, Revelation for Our Lives”, 2018).

I believe this last line is very important. No one can ever take away a witness borne to your heart and mind about what is true. This is such a comfort to me.

Do Not Deny the Truth You Found

The important lesson here is once you know something is true and have determined how you know it, do not throw it away. C.S. Lewis states that “Faith is the art of holding onto things your reason has once accepted in spite of your changing moods”. President Spencer W. Kimball further taught that absolute truth cannot be “altered by the opinions of men. . . . If men are really humble, they will realize that they discover, but do not create, truth” (Spencer W. Kimball, “Absolute Truth”, 1979). Do not chalk your testimony up to a changeable experience or throw it away due to shifting tides, differing advice or public opinion. Do not give up on hard won truth because Google offers the opinions of men. No one can ever take away a witness borne to your heart and mind. 

One of my favorite leaders and speakers is Sheri Dew. In her book Worth the Wrestle, she states,

“When we have unresolved questions, our challenge doesn’t lie in what we think we know. It lies in what we don’t yet know. The Lord wants us to ask every probing question we can muster because not asking questions can be far more dangerous than asking them. Questions are not just good they are vital because the ensuing spiritual wrestle leads to answers, to knowledge and to revelation. And it leads to greater faith”.

When we go through the soul stretching exercise of determining and discerning truth, our faith increases, and our testimony grows. Little by little, over time and with experience, this increase and growth will bear out every single time. 

What If You Have Doubts, Apathy, or Confusion?

I am aware that at one time or another all of us will encounter some kind of a faith crisis, frustration, doubt, apathy and just plain confusion about God’s plan for us. This is par for the course in this life; it is to be expected. There will always be roadblocks in our way as we build our faith. James 1:6 tells us to “Ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea, driven with the wind and tossed”. We cannot waver in our resolve to discover truth and build faith. Our growing testimonies demand nothing less. Sometimes we have numerous questions and frustrations about so many different spiritual matters. It is easy to get bogged down in what we clearly do not know or understand. Over the years, my husband and I have had a series of faith building and soul stretching experiences leading us to question and search all aspects of the gospel. We have come up with a concept that keeps our minds clear, our hearts open and our testimonies strong. We refer to this concept as The Box. 

The Box is small. It contains things that we adamantly believe to be true. The order in the box is as follows: I believe in God, the Eternal Father. I believe that He is the great creator and knows me perfectly. He wants every good thing for me. I believe in Jesus Christ, that He is the Son of heavenly parents and the Savior of all mankind. I believe that He lives. I believe that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ directed Joseph Smith to restore the gospel to the earth at this time in our history and use specific priesthood keys to translate the Book of Mormon. I believe the Book of Mormon is true and accurate. I believe that from Joseph Smith until now we have had the uninterrupted blessing of living prophets and that our prophet today is President Russell M. Nelson. I know of these things in this box to be absolutely true. I have prayed about them and have received revelation for myself to know that they are true. I know what is true and I understand how I know it.

What about everything outside of the box? Well, that can be a long list and most if not all of it is changeable because sometimes it is of man, not necessarily of God. There are parts of our church history, social policies and long held ideas that are colored by the bias of human beings. There are cultural and traditional practices that have become entrenched in the fabric of our church today but culture is not canon, and tradition is not necessarily correct. There is a difference between tradition and testimony. My testimony is of God, Jesus Christ, the restored gospel, the Book of Mormon and a living prophet today. My testimony is not of policy, of opinions, of culture or of tradition. If those were what my testimony was built on, it would have never lasted.

Sherri Dew further explains,

“When questions arise or when blessings you’ve been pleading for remain unfulfilled, they are not an indication that you don’t have a testimony or that the gospel isn’t true. They are an invitation for you to grow spiritually. Even your thorniest questions about our doctrine, history, positions on sensitive issues or the aching desires of your hearts are about personal growth. Questions are good. Questions are good if they are inspired questions, asked in faith and asked of credible sources where the spirit will direct and confirm the answer”.

Her point about asking questions in faith and of credible sources is important to remember.

When I return to this concept of The Box, my testimony does not fail and instead it grows. As I have asked questions and sought answers over the years, I have felt my testimony take deeper root and thrive. I am not ashamed of doubt, of questions, of wrestling for understanding. Instead, I am proud of the work I am doing to grow my testimony. Our four kids all understand the importance of The Box. It has helped them to stay focused on what is important and has given them room and permission to take their time in figuring out answers to their questions. The process of developing and gaining a testimony is not a linear one. There is no one-size-fits-all timeline. Instead, this process requires a lifetime of work, of questioning and seeking, of prayer and most importantly, of faith. This is active work that requires daily engagement and nurturing. It is a work that requires some big swings. When doubts, challenges and frustrations rear their heads, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland encourages us to

“Hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until additional knowledge comes. You have more faith than you think you do. The size of your faith or the degree of your knowledge is not the issue. It is the integrity you demonstrate toward the faith you DO have and the truth you already know” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “Lord, I Believe”, 2013). 

Take the Leap of Faith to Search for Truth

To return where we began, seeking truth and building faith are two vitally important ingredients for developing our testimonies. Equally as important is the resolve and integrity we demonstrate toward the faith and truth we already know. 

My son Simon just began his mission to serve the people of Kenya and wherever else he may be needed over the next two years. He is about to make some of the biggest swings of his life. He is going to teach others to take big swings to search for truth and to be open to inspiration from their Heavenly Father. The very act of serving a mission is a huge leap of faith, just as much as it is a leap of faith to listen to a message about Jesus Christ. It is my prayer that we will take Elder Holland’s advice to hold fast and stand strong. Do not be afraid of doubt. Do not be afraid to ask your hardest questions of your Father in Heaven. Bring every question and problem to Him. Have faith that you WILL receive answers. And when you receive those answers and your testimony grows, do not throw it away. Add them to your box of what you already know to be true.